Sensitive content warning— #loss #grief #lament
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I dreamed of my mommy last night,
only recalling her, hours later in the MorningAfter.
I had to cry as dream washed over and through
And as I cried, I thought of you.
Then I cried some more—
For you — and me — and all of we
who’ve lost / surrendered —
our homes of genesis…
our origins…
our mothers…
(and their wombs and breasts and hands and laps and brows and shoulders
and LovingEyes and
LovelyLaughs).
Coming to realize
they’re Living and Loving on ...
in our memory
and practice
of Them.
In my dream you sleep
turned slightly away from me and
inward upon yourself
(a most unusual posture for you—
maybe why I don’t recognize you… yet)
As you slumber deep, I touch the curve of your shoulder turning gently toward me,
suddenly gasping softly “mama!”
in shocked surprise (tho completely accepting as only DreamScapes can reconcile
and you turn to me, your soft face
suddenly beneath my hand, curving over
your beloved soft face.
I think you blinked at me…
Sleepily? Questioningly? as though,
indeed you recognize me
indeed… and yet?
Then, and again, you blink,
your green-blue eyes shutter blank,
And close again.
I remember no more.
Until this morning,
when memory of your dream-ethereal-soft-shape snap-blinks my eyes wide open—
They fill quickly,
responsive tears overflowing.
There, they’re going…
Still overflowing,.
Again, and again.
And again.
amen.
( Written a couple months back— you- me- we)
Mama’s been strong on my mind these past few
days. Talk of “thin places” and birthdays sans MamaPresence and then, Izzie died yesterday and sharing conversation with SisterSusie about that and it evokes such strong memory.
Welp. I dreamed of our mama ( Mommy ) sleeping last night-- she was so-vividly *alive* (tho sleeping). It was her face, her body felt so real beneath my hands— that soft giving-ness of her body in repose.
I felt bereft when I recalled the dream this morning and had to cry some.
And strangely comforted.
I love you all. 💛💚💙
